WELCOMING NEW TELEHEALTH CLIENTS!
Dependency & codependency: familiar with these?
Codependency & dependency are conditioned from childhood
Codependency and dependency are labels for a set of behaviors that we often pick up (subconsciously - without our awareness) from the role models around us as we grow up.
Cultural and social values have an influence, too; but, wherever they come from, they often bring a set of recurring struggles in our adult relationships that are deeply entrenched and seemingly instinctual. If you've ever wondered "am I codependent?" then you might already be onto something that is worth looking at.
These patterns take many forms. . .
These codependency patterns can look like:
- Ignoring one's needs in order to protect, control, defend, or care for others
- Avoiding healthy conflict
- Communication breakdowns when compromises arise
- Constant chasing of approval and regard
- A preoccupation with validation, criticism, encouragement, or direction from others
- A preoccupation with codependency recovery language
It can be un-learned
It can be challenging, but if we unlearn our codependency patterns, we:
- Can stop wasting energy on faking, masking, or obscuring our true selves
- Can connect more authentically with others
- Create self-actualized meaning in our lives
- Create and maintain social connections that don't burn us out
- Let go of our pre-occupation with approval and regard from others
The trick to overcoming these challenges is safe practice
With the advent of AI search engines and learning machines, you can amass all the knowledge regarding these patterns in an instant. But the trouble is often connecting these patterns with yourself, deconstructing the childhood influences that cemented these codependency patterns, and practicing new skills in a 'safe' environment with another person - a therapist - who gets it.
Codependency belies many of your dating troubles. . .
. . . but its also part of your beauty.
You might be the caretaker, the sacrificer, the person who will give up themselves to help others. And giving this up might sound terrible - like you'd be giving up your generousness, your niceness, your helpfulness - but the opposite is true.
